10. When arguing Star Wars against Star Trek, you use the words ‘Star Trek Sissy Boys’ at least 15 times.

9. You believe President Clinton should increase its budget. (I’m sorry, wrong Star Wars!)

8. At a Star Wars collectibles convention, you purchase Gammorean Guard saliva.

7. You waste your time writing Star Wars Top Ten lists. (no comment)

6. You foolishly believe that Lucas will ACTUALLY make more Star Wars movies, when you know he’s just saying that so people will buy the new Star Wars merchandise and books, then in a year he’ll give his famous ‘I don’t feel like it’ speech.

5. You would feed yourself to the rancor if it meant finding out the name of Anakin’s wife.

4. You’d actually want a copy of that lousy Star Wars holiday special.

3. You stick up for Mark Hamill even when you know he’s a bad actor.

2. You shell out 10 bucks for a magazine that describes the planet Tatooine.

1. You have recurring nightmares about Episodes 1-3 being about a dysfunctional family of Ewoks.