Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time

You get to eat insect food like snails and frog’s legs

If there’s a war you can surrender really early

You don’t have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.

You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people’s countries

You can be ugly and still become a famous film star

Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride

People think you’re a great lover even when you’re not