While your child is on his lap, he tells them they’re not getting his Bud Light.

You see his sleigh pulled over and the police with a breathlyzer.

Those darn milk and cookies never worked but the Jack Daniels does!

You don’t remember getting a request for venison in your stocking.

Betty Ford releases him on December 24th.

After each child, he has a Jello Shot.

This year the sleigh is being pulled by the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull.

He jumps down a manhole and then gets angry when he can’t find the tree.

Instead of going Onward, Dancer and Prancer…he just grumbles and says “Awww…just get going!”