Why Dogs don’t surf the web…

Can’t stick their heads out of Windows 2000.
Too difficult to “mark” every website they visit.
Can’t help attacking the screen when they hear “You’ve Got Mail.”
Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they’re browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
‘Cause dogs ain’t GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand…
Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manouever.
Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.masters.leg.
Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.