Officer: Miss Hilton, this is the third time youve had a traffic violation in 1 week!
Paris: Well, why did you stop me this time?
Officer: I didnt maam, the tree did. Its nice you wanted to take your dog into the park, but usually walking works better for everyone. Have you been drinking?
Paris, Sure lots of times. Havent you?
Officer: Have you been drinking TONIGHT?
Paris: Um, if you arrest me, can I take the fifth?
Officer: So you are using the right to remain silent?
Paris: No, I mean the fifth of vodka there in the back. I was just minding my own business, looking for it, when that stupid tree hit me.
Officer: Can I see your license?
Paris: Not unless you have xray vision, silly!. Its in my purse.
Officer: Can you get it for me please?
Paris: Sure. Can you hold my beer a sec, Sweetie?
Officer: Im afraid Im going to have to take your license.
Paris: Oh thats ok. I had a few extras made just in case. Your cute!
Officer: Can you get out of the car maam?
Paris: I have no idea.
Officer: Can you try please?
Paris: Sure. But Im just gonna sleep for a while first, ‘kay? Are you gonna hand me the vodka or not?
Officer: Please stay in your car maam. Im going to request some back up and a tow.
Paris: Thats so weird. Why the hell do you need another toe?