Officer: Good evening.
Paris: Well it isnt NOW!
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Paris: Hey, arent you that cop that gave me those verbal warnings last week? Looks like youve had a few donuts since then though.
Officer: Um, I dont think Ive stopped you before maam.
Paris: Well, Im sure you would remember. Im ME!
Officer: Also, frankly maam, I dont really appreciate the donut jokes. Police officers sometimes spend time at 24 hour restaurants, including donut shops, during the night shift because they are centralized locations where we can mobilize quickly.
Paris: Sorry, but I kinda tuned out after I. So whats the problem officer? I mean, besides your hair. Not hot.
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Paris: Autograph? How sweet!
Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Paris: Now how am I supposed to see the thermometer when my sweet widdle puppy is sitting on my sweet widdle lap?
Officer: Miss Hilton, you were going 25 miles over the speed limit.
Paris: Really? You know, this is all partly my fault, really. I forgot to plug in my radar detector again.
Officer: Whats your hurry tonight?
Paris: I was just trying to keep up with traffic.
Officer: Theres no one else on the road.
Paris: Yeah, thats how far behind I was! And now Ill have to try even HARDER to catch up
Officer: Im gonna have to give you a ticket.
Paris: Youre very handsome for someone as big as you are.
Officer: Im still gonna have to give you a ticket.
Paris: Theres nothing I can do to change your mind?
Officer: No maam.
Paris: Then hurry, donut ass. You are like SO wasting my life.