Encyclopedia of Humor

Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. One, because he holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him

Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier?
A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it.

Q: What’s the motto of the US Marine Corps?
A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful)
Q: What’s the motto of the French Army?
A: Stop, drop, and run!

Q. Why don’t Master Card and Visa work well in France? A. They do not know how to say “CHARGE!”

Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as camouflage?
A: Their armpits.

Q: What’s the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap?
A: The bucket

The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves.

Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques Chirac’s ass?
A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!!
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IF YOU HAVE MORE, WE’RE READY TO ADD THEM TO THE LIST.

1. Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence

2. Go to a major chain bookstore, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books

3. Have her dress up as a ghost and you dress uup us Pacman. Walk around downtown holding hands, and whenever anyone sees you two, pretend to be embarrassed, and run off screaming “wocka wocka wocka.”

4. Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen

5. Dress up as superherous and stop at least one petty crime “ie. jaywalking, littering….”

6. Build forts out of furniture and blankets, and wage war with paper airplanes. Read More…

Try Transylvania, Romania.

Arsenal Park – Full Presentation from Eduard Schneider on Vimeo.

An old Indian chief reached his 105th birthday and was interviewed by a young history grad student. The student asked, “Chief Two Eagles, you have observed the white man for more that 95 years.
You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances.
You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s done.”

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The student continued, “Considering this long history and all these events, what is your opinion of the white man’s progress?”

The Chief stared at the student for a long time and then calmly replied …..
“When white man found the land, Indians were running it.
There were no taxes,
No debt, plenty of buffalo, and plenty of beaver.
Women did all the work, The medicine man was free.
An Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing and all night having sex.”
Then the chief leaned back and smiled …..
“Only white man is dumb enough to think he could improve a system like that.”

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.