Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O’Reilly wandered by.
“Help!” Paddy shouted, “Oi’m sinkin’!” Don’t worry,” assured Mick. “Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi’m the strongest man in Erin, and Oi’ll pull ye right out o’ there.”
Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy’s hand and pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, “Shure, an’ Oi can’t do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi’ll have to get some help.”
As Mick was leaving, Paddy called “Mick! Mick! D’ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?”
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Irish Jokes No Comments.
Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, ‘How many of you have forgiven your enemies?’
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
‘Mrs. Neely?’; ‘Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?’
I don’t have any.’ She replied, smiling sweetly.
‘Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?’
‘Ninety-eight.’ she replied.
‘Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?’
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, ‘I outlived the bitches.’
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For notes on how this list was built, see the end of the article.
For now, here are the girls:
29. Nicole Scherzinger - 11,400,000 results
Wikipedia | Photos
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1. Take someone’s shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them’s cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say “Grandpa!!! You’re ALIVE!!! It’s a MIRACLE!!! etc.”
5. Take something from someone else’s cart, when they say “hey, that’s mine! ” call the security and say that the other … person was trying to take your _____
6. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
7. Hide in the center of the clothes circle where people find shirts, and jump out and yell “AIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!”
8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell “THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!”
9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, “COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!” Read More…
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Walmart 4 Comments.
