Encyclopedia of Humor

Bubba came visitin’ up north, and decided he wanted to go and do something he could never do in South Alabama, SNOW SKIING.

Unfortunately, before he ever made it UP the hill so’s he could try and come DOWN the hill on ski’s, he was knocked unconscious by the chairlift.

He called his insurance company from the hospital, but they said they were refusing to cover the injury.

“WHAT?!?” yelled Bubba at the phone. “And just why wouldn’t you cover an injury like this?” he complained.

“You got hit in the head by a chairlift,” Bubba’s insurance rep said. “That makes you a moron… and we consider that to be pre-existing condition.”

I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West!

This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, “Would you like us to call you before we come?” I replied that I didn’t see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren’t working. He also requested that we report future outages by email.

(Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

There was a guy who was very keen at telling jokes. One day at a meeting he told one and everybody laughed except a man.

He told another and everybody laughed again except the man. And that continued until the 9th joke.

He noticed the man, and told one nonsense joke. At that time, everybody stayed quiet except the man who laughed energetically.

He asked the man then, “You`re very strange man. I`ve told nine funny jokes and you`ve not had any reaction, and when I told one nonsense one, you found it funny”.

The man replied : “I`ve just understood the first one”

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: Too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn’t want them to cross there anymore. I could swear I’ve recently been with some of these people….