A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. — Guitry

Ah Mozart! He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t. — Borge

Always talk to your wife while you’re making love… if there’s a phone handy.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. — Agatha Christie

And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise.

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. — Socrates

Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago.