I’m really steamed at my wife. She is so immature!
Last night I was taking a bath and she came in and sunk all my little boats!But I’m really a lucky guy. I never realized how much my wife loved me until the other day when I was sick and stayed home from work. She was so happy to have me home, that every time someone came to the door, like the mailman or deliveryman, she’d shout, ‘My husbands home! My husband’s home!’

What a gal I married!

And for everyone that’s still single, some notes on marriage…
…Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
…Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
…Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss.
…Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.
…Marriage is the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.
…Marriage still confers one very special privilege, only a married person can get divorced!