Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: Take your foot off his head.

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: No? Good!

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum?
A: The bucket.

Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in “that’s a shame”)?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

Q: What is the definition of a “crying shame”?
A: There was an empty seat.

Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetary.