# Take the hotel towel
# Pay tolls with $100 bills
# Practice the art of limp handshakes
# Tell the ending of movies
# Give little kids clothes for their birthdays
# Leave the toilet seat up
# Take more than
# items to the express checkout lane
# Turn on your bright for oncoming traffic
# Finish other people’s crossword puzzles
# Use the last square of toilet paper
# Tailgate the elderly
# Drum your fingers during other people’s presentations
# Blow out other people’s birthday candles
# Don’t leave a message at the beep
# Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the parking lot
# Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways
# Eat produce at the market; don’t buy it
# When giving directions, leave out a turn or two
# Toss things out the window: tissues, cigarettes, cellophane food wrappings and those sorts of things
# Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April
# Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures
# See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are sitting by the window
# Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner and hotel reservations
# Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons
# Go up the down escalator (B.P., this means you)
# Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines
# Snap your gum
# Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you’re at it, leave the cap off
# Open umbrellas in crowded hallways
# Announce when you’re going to the bathroom
# Read over other people’s shoulders on the bus
# When it says, “Reserved Parking”, this means you
# Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want
# Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower
# Chew other people’s pencils
# Lie to your therapist and sit in her chair
# Let doors slam behind you — in other people’s faces
# Tell teenagers how things were in your day
# Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation
# Pee in the swimming pool
# Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut in
# Wear large hats during the movies
# Forget the pooper scooper
# Race the old woman for the last bus seat
# Cause gridlock
# Bring 15 things into the dressing room
# Draw mustaches on posters
# Don’t rewind videocassettes before bringing them back
# Serve TV dinners, wine coolers, and cherry Twinkies on Thanksgiving
# Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you
# Touch strangers
# Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus
# Bite your dentist’s finger
# Fart in cramped places
# Leave lipstick prints on people’s cheeks and foreheads
# Don’t stand during hymns and anthems
# Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa
# Rubberneck
# Leave pages in the copier
# Be “in conference” all the time
# Don’t clean the dryer lint screen
# Buy it, wear it, return it
# Tell people they have bad breath
# Smell smoke often and announce it
# Eat out with friends and “forget” your wallet
# Put everyone on speakerphone
# Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you
# Rain on someone’s parade
# Make scary faces at babies
# Flirt with a friend’s spouse
# Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team
# Pretend you’re listening
# Shake with your left hand