An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor.

The last severe depression and banking crisis could not have been achieved by normal civil servants and politicians, it required economists involvement.

Contagion: A strory demostrating the possible outcomes from interlinkages in the financial markets.

Two economists sit down to play chess. They study the board for 24 hours and declare a stale-mate.

Q: What does it take to be a good economist?
A: An unshakeable grasp of the obvious!

Q: What’s the difference between mathematics and economics?
A: Mathematics is incomprehensible; economics just doesn’t make any sense.

An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality to become an accountant.

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.

Q: What’s the difference between a finance major and an economics major?
A: Opportunity cost

The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist.

The Second Law of Economists: They’re both wrong.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today. – Laurence J. Peter

A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. – Marty Allen

I don’t think you can spend yourself rich. – George Humphrey

If all economists were laid end to end they would not reach a conclusion. – George Bernard Shaw

An economist is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Tariff — A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

Economists are people who are too smart for their own good and not smart enough for anyone else’s.

Economy — Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

An economist is someone who doesn’t know what he’s talking about – and make you feel it’s your fault.

What’s this thing called PSP?
I pondered and I wondered…
I hit this key and that key..
Oh gosh how I blundered!

It scared me to death
the things what were in there,
the tools were all taunting…
Click on me if you dare!

I clicked on the browser
and things went a’flyin…
scared me to death
and left me a’cryin!

I hit the wrong key
and the toolbar went ‘Poof!’
I thought “Oh my goodness,
did I ever goof!

It said ‘open an image’
an image? What could that be?
This button, that button…
This thing’s a’pickin on me!!

But the more I went in there
and the more things I tried,
I no longer feared it,
I no longer cried.

I learned it and learned it
and learned it some more,
Now the rest of my life
I just plain ignore!

So don’t bother callin
I won’t answer the phone…
I’m a PSP’er….
Just leave me alone!!!

A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn’t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, “Don’t worry. You’ll never have to go to jail with all that money.” And the lawyer was right – When the man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime

Q: What’s the national bird of Iraq?
A: DUCK!

Q: What’s the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
A: You shout out, “B-52″

The latest from Saudi Arabia and Baghdad is that :
Americans claim they have air superiority over Iraq.
Iraqis claim they have air superiority over Iran.

Q: Why doesn’t Saddam go out drinking?
A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?

Q: What does Saddam Hussein have in common with Fred Flinstone?
A: They both can look out of their window and see rubble!

Q: Have you heard about the new Royal Iraqi Air Force exercise program?
A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.

Q: What should Iraq get for its air defense system?
A: A refund.

Q: Who is an Iraqi Hero?
A: He’s the one that waited thirty seconds before he surrendered.

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.

To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Too light for heavy work and too heavy for light work.

Treat people as if they are what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being.

Trust everybody…then cut the cards.

Try to be the best of whatever you are, even if what you are is no good.

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Two heads are more numerous than one.