Sunday, December 13, 1992

After police pulled over Kevin Temple, 35, in a routine traffic stop in Bronson, Fla., in October, a police dog sniffing the trunk became agitated. In the trunk and back seat, officers found the following live animals: 48 rattlesnakes, a Gila monster, 45 non-poisonous snakes, 67 scorpions, several tarantulas and small lizards, and a parrot. Temple said they were just pets.

There is this blonde in the middle of a parking lot rowing a boat.

This other blonde drives by and sees this blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a parking lot. So she stops her car gets out and yells, “IF I COULD SWIM, I WOULD SWIM OVER THERE AND DROWN YOU. YOU GIVE US BLONDES A BAD NAME!!”

Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first Marine said “those are deer tracks.”

The second Marine said “No, those are elk tracks.”

The third Marine said “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.”

The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them.

Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.

All bathtubs must have feet.

A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.

All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.

It is illegal to sleep naked.

Hibbing
It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer to enforce the provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running at large, or which is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall be the duty of any policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat.

Minneapolis
Red cars can not drive down Lake Street

St. Cloud
Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.

Virginia
You’re not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street.

A blonde walks into a hardware store, and is looking for a new television. The store assistant approaches her and says, “I’m sorry madam, but we don’t serve blondes.” So she goes home, has a breast reduction, and dyes and cuts her hair. She goes back to the store, and asks the assistant, “I’d like to buy this television please”. The store assistant replies, “sorry madam, we don’t serve blondes.” “How did you know?” she said.
“Because that is a microwave, not a television!”