It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.

Lewes
It is illegal to wear pants that are “firm fitting” around the waist.

Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment.

10. Having to live a good part of my life with the name ‘Anakin.’

9. Obi-Wan Kenobi keeps appearing in the middle of the night saying ‘I told you so!’

8. Boba Fett gets all the chicks.

7. All I did was torture hundreds of innocent people, wipe out an entire generation of Jedi Knights, assist in destroying the rightful government in exchange for a malevolent dictatorship, destroy a planet, torture my daughter that I didn’t even know existed, chop off my son’s hand and I’m the bad guy.

6. The way G.M. tries to skirt around installing new safety features (Whoops! Sorry, that’s a Ralph Nader pet peeve).

5. That darn Energizer bunny.

4. Whenever I eat at a KFC, everyone jokes that I’ll only eat dark meat.

3. Wiseguys who come up to me saying ‘This is CNN.’

2. When appearing together at military functions, The Emperor always insists on wearing his ‘I’m with stupid’ T-shirt.

1. I’m seen as a dark lord representative of all that’s evil, but Newt Gingrich is a national celebrity.

Three women escaped from prison. One was a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde.

They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage.

About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff told his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw and the deputy yelled back, “Just three gunnysacks.”

The sheriff told him to find out what was in them, so the deputy kicked the first sack, which had the redhead in it. She went, “Bow-wow”, so the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in it.

Then he kicked the sack with the brunette in it. She went, “Meow”, so the deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in it.

Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it, and there was no sound at all. So he kicked it again, and finally the blonde said, “Potatoes.”

Top Holiday Traditions In The Military

9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask

8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower

7. Draw up list of who’s naughty, who’s nice and who can’t run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant

6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 0530

5. You open a gift and surprise! It’s a khaki-colored t-shirt

4. Extra R&R for any personnel named Donner or Blitzen

3. There’s always plenty of parking at the mall when you’re driving a tank

2. Watching “Frosty” and crying my eyes out

1. Freeze-dried, shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed eggnog

February 1, 1993

Raleigh, N.C., police charged Vernon Edsel Brooks, 34, with robbing a Radio Shack in July, despite his foresight in disabling a video surveillance camera by taking the camera with him as he fled.

Because he forgot to take the recorder to which the camera was connected, police found a tape containing a full facial shot of Brooks reaching for the camera.