While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing none around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.

Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change.

A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts.
“What’s that ?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

“Tennis ball,” came the breathless reply.

“Oh,” said the girl sympathetically, “that must be painful…. I had tennis elbow once.”

Two guys decide to go on a hunting trip. When there friend hears about it, he begges to go. The two men are skeptical, because every time there friend goes, he scares away all the game. The friend promises that if he is allowed to go, he will stay at the camp site, because he likes to camp more than hunt. They agree and they start on their trip.

Once camp is set up, the two men decide to go hunt, and their friend stays behind. After several hours they finally spot a ten point buck, but a shrill scream scares the buck away. The two men run back to camp, only to find their friend standing there looking up into the trees.

“What’s wrong?” They asked. “Yeah, you scared off our game.”

“I’m sorry, fellas. I didn’t screm when the snake fell out of the tree and wrapped aound my neck. I didn’t yell when the bear came out of the woods and mauled me nearly to death. But those SQUIRELS…”

What had happened to the poor man was that two squirels had climbed up his pants leg. The first squirel asked the second, “Do we eat them NOW, or do we take them HOME?”

There was this family who lived in the country, and the father took his boy out shooting. When they came back later that day the father put his BB gun on the top of the stove and hurried to the bathroom.

He set it down so fast and hard that it opened and the BB’s from the gun went right into mother’s spagetti sauce. She had seen the BB’s and just figured that they couldn’t hurt anyone, so she just served dinner anyways.

Later that night the little girl ran down stairs saying, “mommy mommy I just peed BB’s! Well did it hurt you said the mom. No said the girl. Ok then don;t worry it will go away.

Then the little boy runs down stairs, “mommy mommy I just peed BB’s! Well did it hurt she says? No says the boy. Ok then don’t worry about it, it will go away.

Later that night the father rushes down the stairs with his pants down – “honey, honey, I was just up stairs jacking off and I shot the dog!”

One day a man went hunting for ducks. When he was done he was going to his Chevy and he got a vist from The Game Warden.

The Warden said “Hey Sir,what ya huntin?”
The man said “Ducks.”

The Warden said “Did ya have any luck?”
He said “Got 3.”

The Warden said “Let Me see them.” The Warden stuck his finger up the ducks butt,smelled it and said “This duck is from Ohio, do you have a stamp for it?”
The Man gave him the stamp.

The Warden picked up the 2nd duck did the same thing and said “Kentuky duck, got a stamp?”
The man gave him the stamp.

The Warden did the same thing with the last duck and said “Canada duck. Stamp?”
The man gave him the stamp.

Then the Warden said “Where you from anyway?”
The man pulled down his pants and said “You’re the expert, you tell me!”

Once upon a time in a place where little sperms grow, there was a super jock sperm who spent all his time working out. He did things like lifting weights and running, his most important duty. All the other sperm were very curious about his pastimes.

“Why do you keep working out all the time,” they asked.

“Well,” he said, “Of all us sperms, only one of us is going to make it to the egg. And that is going to be me.” Well, the other sperms just floated around waiting for the day to cum (pardon the expression). And it did, and they were off! All those sperms racing along and far out in front of them was the super jock sperm, racing so fast and so hard (ha HA ) that they couldn’t see him any more, but they still kept cumming.

Alas, then, away in the distance, they heard a loud piercing scream. They still kept cumming though.

And then very shortly the super sperm appeared, screaming with all his might, “Go back, Go Back! IT’S A BLOW JOB!”