Q. How many right-to-lifers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Three. Two to screw it in, and one to confirm that light began while they were screwing.

If the prefix “con” is the opposite of the prefix “pro”, then is “Congress” the opposite of “progress”?

You should “never” drink during tax season.

“You might shoot at tax collectors and miss!”

Sung to the Oscar Mayer� song:

His baloney has a first name,
It’s “I did not inhale.”
His baloney has a second name:
“I wasn’t getting tail.”

He loves to sling it every day,
The White House people all just say,
That Billy Clinton has a way
Of making bullshit sound OK!

What happened to Chelsea Clinton’s younger brother?

Monica swallowed him!