4 Doctors were talking shop one day…

An Israeli doctor said, “Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks.”

A German doctor said “That’s nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks.”

A Russian doctor said, “In my country, medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another and have them both looking for work in two weeks.”

The American doctor, not to be outdone, said “Hah! We took an asshole out of Texas, put him in the White House and half the country was looking for work the next day!”

Democrats announced today they are changing their emblem from a donkey to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party’s political stance.

A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages cooperation, protects a bunch of dicks and gives a sense of security while screwing others.

The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado in Kansas, and off they spin to the Land of OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

“WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD? WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: “I had a terrible time with Iran, so I’ve come for some courage.”

“No problem” says the Wizard, “WHO IS NEXT?” Ronald Reagan steps forward, “Well.., Well.., Well.., I need a brain.” “Done” says the Wizard.

“Who comes next before the Great Wizard?” Up steps George Bush sadly, “I’m told by the American people that I need a heart.”

“I’ve heard it’s true” says the Wizard. “Consider it done.”

Then there is a great silence. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn’t say a word.

Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, “WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THE EMERALD CITY!?”

And Bill replies – “Is Dorothy around?”

There are a lot of folks that can’t understand how we ran out of oil here in the USA.

Well, here’s the answer: It’s simple. nobody bothered to check the oil.

Didn’t know we were getting low. And of course the reason for that is geographical.

All the oil is in Alaska, Texas, and Oklahoma,
and all the dipsticks are in Washington, D.C.

Q: What’s the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the rest of us?
A: In order for us to get some dick in the White House, we had to go out and vote.

Q: How will history remember Bill Clinton?
A: The President after Bush.

Q: What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and his dog Buddy?
A: One tries to hump the leg of every woman in the White House, the other is a chocolate Lab.

Q: What does Clinton say to interns as they leave his office?
A: “Don’t hit your head on the desk.”

Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on President’s day?
A: All pants half off.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and the Buffalo Bills have in common?
A: They both blew the big one several times.

Q: What was the first thing Monica saw in government?
A: The Executive Branch.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and soda pop machines have in common?
A: They both have slots which say “Insert Bill” here.”