A woman is not a womyn or a wyf or a wyfman (even if it isn’t pronounced like any of the current versions). She is someone who has not decided to affiliate with feminism or Middle English in any way. She is probably very normal, but in an attempt to prove male dominance, only one out of ten (male) doctors agree with this assessment.
For thousands of years, men have been searching for a final solution to the women problem. They have yet to execute any permanent measures and experts are beginning to admit grudgingly that women might be here to stay.
Notable characteristics include chocolate blood, 15 GHz multi-tasking capabilities, and an innate hunger for shopping.
What women want in a man at age 25:
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener Read More…
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And what they MEAN
ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it.
FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of “those” arguments.
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Invite a man to go shopping with you only if you need someone to carry your packages or drive.
Assure your boyfriend that every female movie star has had a boob job.
When your man asks you what’s wrong, say “Nothing.” However, when Oprah, Dr. Phil or Dr. Laura asks you, go into excruciating detail. Leave nothing out.
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A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.
The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs
have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big airplanes have baby airplanes?”
The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant.
So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant. The flight attendant, who was
very busy at the time, smiled and said, “Did your Mom tell you to ask me?”
The boy said, “Yes she did.”
“Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest
always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you.”
I watched a man rush onto our plane at the last minute before takeoff. He spotted one of the few empty seats on board and silently sat down.
Later that night, though, he seemed bothered as the woman next to him fidgeted and got up frequently to use the bathroom. Still, the man never uttered a word. Feeling sorry for him, I quietly asked if he would like to move to another seat.
“My wife’s been annoying me for 50 years,” he said with a chortle. “There’s no sense in separating us now.”
