Computer novices may feel like they’re alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBM’s help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway. After a caller gave a technician her PC’s serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, “I see you have an Aptiva” desktop unit. Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she’d be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded: “Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe.”

A customer who had just received a laptop computer asked about the power-saving feature known as “hibernate.” Would this hibernate device work in the spring and summer, the caller asked. Read More…

One day a woman came up to her husband and told him that the TV was broken and she was missing her shows.

“Does it say cable repairman anywhere on my forehead?” he asked.

“No,” she said.

A few minutes later she came back and told him that the porch was breaking and it was dangerous.

“Does it say carpenter anywhere on my forehead?” he asked. Read More…

Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, “You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly.” St. Peter looked at Dave and said, “You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge.” Next St. Peter looked at John and said, “You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota stationwagon.” St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, Read More…

There was a guy who just got out of a really bad divorce with his wife. One day, he found a genie’s lamp.

The genie came out and said, “Hello master. I will grant you three wishes but, what ever you wish for your wife gets double.”

The guy didn’t like that part but he made a wish anyway. For his first wish, he said,

“Genie, I want a house in Hawaii.” POOF!!! He got one house, his wife got two. This didn’t make him happy but, he made his second wish. Read More…

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.”

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” She replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
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