A woman is not a womyn or a wyf or a wyfman (even if it isn’t pronounced like any of the current versions). She is someone who has not decided to affiliate with feminism or Middle English in any way. She is probably very normal, but in an attempt to prove male dominance, only one out of ten (male) doctors agree with this assessment.
For thousands of years, men have been searching for a final solution to the women problem. They have yet to execute any permanent measures and experts are beginning to admit grudgingly that women might be here to stay.
Notable characteristics include chocolate blood, 15 GHz multi-tasking capabilities, and an innate hunger for shopping.
John asked his wife, Mary, what she wanted to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new mink coat?” he asked.
“Not really,” said Mary.
“Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” said John.
“No,” she responded.
“What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggested.
She again rejected his offer. “Well what would you like for our anniversary?” John asked.
“John, I’d like a divorce,” answered Mary.
“Sorry, I wasn’t planning to spend that much,” said John.
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A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast food restaurant. He noticed that they ordered only one meal and an extra drinkcup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries. One for him, one for her, until each had half of them.
Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set it in front of his wife. The old man began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.
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Stanley was in his usual place in the morning, sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player, who was known primarily for his lack of I.Q. and common knowledge.
He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. “I’ll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.”
Stanley’s wife replied, “Why thank you, dear!”
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After being away on business, Clarence McDougal thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. “That is a bit much,” said Clarence.
So the clerk returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. “That’s still quite a bit,” Clarence groused. Read More…
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A newly married sailor was informed by the navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter. “My love,” he wrote, “We are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m starting to miss you and there’s really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that we’re constantly surrounded by young, attractive, native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not get tempted?” Read More…
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