10. Explicit discussions of either topic is a faux pas at most cocktail parties.
9. Historically, men have been in control, but there are now efforts to get women more involved.

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A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and

came upon a young boy who was masturbating. “My son, you

shouldn’t be doing that”, said the priest. “You should be saving

that for when you get married.”

The embarrassed boy hung his head down low and simply

said “Yes, Father.”

About 10 years later the priest was in his study when a young

man, in his early twenties came in.

“Yes, my son?” said the priest.

“Father, you may not remember me, but about 10 years ago

you caught me masturbating in an alley, and I’ll never forget

the advice you gave then.”

“And what was that, my son?”

“Well, you told me that what I was doing was wrong and I

should be saving it for when I get married”, said the young

man.

“That sounds like something I probably would have said” said

the priest. “Did you take my advice?”

“Yes I did, Father; but there’s only one problem.”

“What’s that, my son?”

“Well, I have a 55 gallon drum of the stuff in the back of my

pickup truck. Now that I am getting married, what am I

supposed to do with it?”

A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall, but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks, the two went back to the tall woman’s apartment.

“I can’t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,” said the woman, “especially with the size difference and all.”

“Just take off your clothes, lie back on the bed, spread your legs, and close your eyes,” said the midget.

The woman did as she was told, and soon she felt the biggest thing she had ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes, the woman had climaxed eight times.

“If you think was good,” said the midget with a smirk, “just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!”

A boy is home with his babysitter on a stormy night when the boy says “Usually on a stormy night mommy lets me cuddle with her”. The babysitter responds with “OK”.

They are cuddling when the boy says “Usually mommy lets me take a bath”. The babysitter says “ok”. The boy is in the tub when he says “Usually mommy gets in with me”. The babysitter says “Really? ok”. They are in the tub when the boy says “Usually my mommy lets me touch her bellybutton” The babysitter says “Really? ummmmm ok”.

Then the babysitter says “Hey that wasn’t my bellybutton!” The boy says “That wasn’t my finger either.”

Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.

They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came home from work and David ran up to him yelling, “Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today.”

“What?” his father replied.

“When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling, ‘Jesus, I’m coming, Jesus I’m coming.’ If it wasn’t for Uncle Terry holding her down we would have lost her for sure!”