A young woman goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.
A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue “Y” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.
A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green “M” on her chest. “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor.
“No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?”
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I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?
My magic watch says that you don’t have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that…your numbers not in it.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
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A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest.
She lies down on the bed… just then, and elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she’s thrown out of the bed.
Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more.
Again a train shakes the room so violently, she’s pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager.
The manager says he’ll be right up.
The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true.
“Look… lie here on the bed — you’ll be thrown right to the floor!”
So he lies down next to the wife.
Just then the husband walks in. “What,” he says, “are you doing here!?!”
The manager calmly replies, “Would you believe I’m waiting for a train?”
Mr. Bates was introducing his family members to his Psychiatrist friend. Bates: Please meet my wife Mrs. Bates, my daughter Miss Bates and then my son Master Bates. Psychiatrist: Does he? Send him to my clinic. I will make him alright.
Nine months after struggling to get out; rest of your life you are struggling to get in.
