A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom’s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love-making.

Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn’t quit it.

The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn’t close a large suitcase. The groom said, “Darling, you get on top and I’ll try”. That didn’t work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, “Sweetheart, you get on top and I’ll try”. Still no success. Then he said, “Look. Let’s both get on top and try”.

At that point the parrot yanked away the towel and said, “Zoo or no zoo.
This… I gotta see” !!!

The bride tells her husband, “Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?”

“OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place ‘the
prison’ and call my private thing ‘the prisoner’. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison. Read More…

A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

When he got to the first one, he asked the madame, “Is this a union house?”

“No, I’m sorry it isn’t.”

“Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?”

“The house gets $80 and the girls get $20.”

Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable shop.

His search continued as long as you want to draw things out, until finally he reached a brothel where the madame said, “Why yes, this is a union house.”

“And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?”

“The girls get $80 and the house gets $20.”

“That’s more like it!” the man said. He looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive redhead. “I’d like her for the night.”

“I’m sure you would, sir,” said the madame, gesturing to a fat fifty-year-old woman in the corner, “but Ethel here has seniority.”

A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi
at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he
asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife
was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100,
the cabby agreed.

Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the
bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back
and there was his wife in bed with another man.

The husband put a gun to the naked man’s head. The wife shouted,
“Don’t do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I
inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid
for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your season Green Bay Packer
Tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club
membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!”

Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun.
He looked over at the cab driver and said, “What would you do?” The
cabby said, “I’d cover his ass up with that blanket before he catches
a cold.”