Two dwarfs decide to treat themselves to a vacation in Las Vegas. At the hotel bar, they’re dazzled by two women, and wind up taking them to their separate rooms.

The first dwarf is disappointed, however, as he’s unable to reach a certain physical state that would enable him to join with his date. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of ONE, TWO, THREE…HUH! all night long.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, “How did it go?”.

The first whispers back, “It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn’t get an erection”.

The second dwarf shook his head. “You think that’s embarrassing? I couldn’t even get on the bed!”

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can’t see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.

“Honey,” she signs, “Why don’t we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time.”

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, “Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times.”

One day, a man noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the back yard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts.

He made it a point to water and trim his lawn as much as possible, hoping for yet another look. Finally, he could stand it no more. Walking to the front door of the new neighbor’s house, he knocked and waited. The husband, a large, burly man, opened the door. “Excuse me,” the man stammered, “But I couldn’t help noticing how beautiful your wife is.”

“Yeah? So?” his hulking neighbor replied.

“Well, in particular, I am really struck by how beautiful her breasts are. I would gladly pay you ten thousand dollars if I could kiss those breasts.” The burly gorilla is about to deck our poor man when his wife appears and stops him. She pulls him inside and they discuss the offer for a few moments.

Finally, they return, and ask the man to step inside. “Okay,” the husband says gruffly, “For ten thousand dollars, you can kiss my wife’s tits.”

At this, the wife unbuttons her blouse, and the twin objects of desire hang free at last. The man takes one in each hand, and proceeds to rub his face against them in total ecstasy. This goes on for several minutes, until the husband gets annoyed. “Well, come on already, kiss ‘em!” he growls.

“I can’t,” replies the man, still nuzzling away.

“Why not?” demands the husband, getting really angry now.

“I don’t have ten thousand dollars!”

A small guy goes into an elevator and notices a huge guy standing next to him. The big guy looks down on the small white guy and says, “Seven foot tall, three hundred fifty pounds, twenty-inch dick, three-pound left ball, three-pound right ball, Turner Brown.”

The small guy faints!

The big guy picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him. He asks the small guy, “What’s wrong?”

The small guy says, “Excuse me, but what did you say?”

The big guy looks down and says “Seven foot tall, three hundred fifty pounds, twenty-inch dick, three- pound left ball, three-pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown.”

The small guy says, “Thank God, I thought you said, “Turn around.”

A gay man was driving his sports car around the corner, when an eighteen-wheeler pulled out of the alley and directly in front of his way. The sports car plows into the truck and totally demolishes the front end of the sports car.

The gay man jumps out of the car, comes tearing around the side of the truck where the truck driver is, and hollers,

“You did that on purpose! You just pulled right out in front of me!”

The truck driver says, “Suck my dick.”

Waving his hands, “Don’t try to sweet talk me out of it!!! I’m really fucking PISSED here!”