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A crusty old Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

“Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”

“Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.”

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”

“Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.”

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?”

“1955, ma’am.” “Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!” She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955.”

The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2130 now.”

A 13 year old boy came home all happy. His mom asked, “what did you do at school today hunny?”

“Oh i had sex with my teacher,” he said calmly.

The mother began to scream and yell and sent him to his room till his father got home. When the father came home the mother said distroutly and close to tears, “Go talk to your son…he had sex with his teacher today!!!!!!!!!” Read More…

Crystal Defanti cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny’s propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.

Finally, towards the end of the lesson, Crystal asks for examples of sex education from the class. One little boy raises his hand, “I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs.”"Very good, William”, said the teacher. “My mommy had a baby,” said little Esther. “Oh, that’s nice,” came the reply. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation Crystal Defanti calls on him. “I was watchin’ TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. Read More…

Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy.

The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, “Nurses are known to be hot to trot.”

The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, “Telephone operators have sexy voices.”

The third man married Crystal Defanti. Dave thinks to himself, “Poor guy, teachers are frigid.” Read More…