random girl: hey!
me: …hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don’t want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye

Why did the man fill his waterbed with beer?
He wanted a foam mattress.

Why did the pig run away from the pig-sty?
He thought that the other pigs were taking him for grunted.

Why did the Maharishi not want novocaine when he had a tooth pulled?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?
He wanted sweet and sour pork.

Why did King Author wear his Cloak to the Great Ball, rather than his Mantle?
Cause kings go better with cloak!

Why did the truck driver drive his truck off the cliff?
He wanted to try out the air brakes.

Why did Quasimodo’s wife buy him a wok?
To iron his shirts.