1. If you are his friend, be careful. Smifs shouts can cause your wellness to drop by 5 points. And that is if he’s in a cheery mood…

2. The only solutions to any county’s border security is an MPP with Smif, personnaly.

3. Smifs personal productivity exceeds the GDP of many small countries in the New World.

4. If Smif moves to a region, it automatically becomes high productive in all raw materials.

5. Smif, on average, is abut 7.342,00% more effective than a Defence System Q5.

6. Smifs military strength has already exceeded the maximum of 65535 but due to the fact that Erepublik cannot work with bigger numbers, it displays a reseted countdown.

7. Smif does not consume food. Instead, he is highly dependant on high amounts of iron Q5. Allegedly, there are 2 iron companies in Podolia especially designated to still his hunger…

8. Smifs presence in an enemy region instantly destroys its Defence System. Because there is no defence against Smif.

9. Smif can start a resistance war even if the region already belongs to its original owner country.

10. The Romanian Q5 weapons industry is designated exclusively for Smif. He has to take at least 4-5 weapons in every fight, in order for these not to melt in his hands like chocolate. He uses lower quality weapons for snacks, between fights.

11. Smif does not own a house. He doesn’t need a wellness boost, because there is no known method to decrease his wellness.

12. Atlantis and PEACE are there just for Smifs amusement. Although he could take them down single-handedly, he decided that its really cute when little people play army…

13. V1 got a lot better because bugs (like all creatures) are too terrified by Smifs wrath to make an appearance.

14. Admins wanted to declare Smif as a country, but realized that this would lead to the iminent dissapearance of any other national form of organization in the New World…

15. Smif can break his victims’ “revive character” button and there is nothing admins can do about it.

16. One bug the admins can’t fix is Smif moving around without a moving ticket…

17. If you log in on Smif’s account and buy gold you would have 3 payment methods: Pay-Pal, Credit Card and Smif. The las one, of course, is free of charge.

18. When Smif clicks the Contact button all the admins shit their pants and Alexis Bonte has a heart atack!

You’re probably wondering what’s a Smif?

Smif is the strongest player in eRepublik, a multiplayer online game.

This list was compiled by dsalageanu (with some help from Shadow Figure)

A newfie wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the newfie to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The newfie understood and was ready.

The time came to have the newfie jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded him that he would be right behind him. The newfie proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the newfie.

The newfie seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, “So you wanna race, eh?”

Men are like department stores…. their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like vacations…. they never seem to be long enough.

Men are like computers… hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like coolers… load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like chocolate bars…. sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like coffee…. the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like horoscopes…. they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like plungers… they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like cement…. after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo’s most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.

He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it’s a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion’s cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.

The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, “Help me, help me!”, but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, “Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?”