A young boy after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together,climbed up into his father’s lap and said, “Daddy, did you know that if we were Indians, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?”

“That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard,” replied his daddy as he ducked.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don’t eat this much!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys Thanksgiving! Aren’t you?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive the stuffing too!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Aida.
Aida who?
Aida lot more than I should have!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to wait long to eat?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Diana.
Diana who?
Diana thirst too!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
General Lee.
General Lee who?
General Lee I don’t either!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Sid.
Sid who?
Sid down. It’s time to eat!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke at all the food!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita nother napkin.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Aaron.
Aaron who?
Arron you having more cranberry sauce?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Don.
Don who?
Don eat all the stuffing, I want some more!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any more sweet potatoes?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Wilma.
Wilma who?
Wil Ma make lots of food again this Thanksgiving?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up! I’m starved!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Abbott.
Abbott who?
Abbott time to eat isn’t it?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Odette.
Odette who?
Odette’s a big turkey!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Phillip a big plate and dig in!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Phyllis.
Phyllis who?
Phyllis plate up too!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Emma.
Emma who?
Emma real pig when it comes to eating Turkey!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Esther.
Esther who?
Esther any more gravy?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Alma.
Alma who?
Alma dinner’s gone. May I have dessert?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda piece of pumpkin pie?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Alva.
Alva who?
Alva nother piece please!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Xavier.
Xavier who?
Xavier fork for dessert.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara we’ll have turkey leftovers!

An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with
breeding to perfect a better turkey.

His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there
were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating
attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts
to his friends at the general store get together. “Well I
finally did it! I bred
a turkey that has 6 legs!”

They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

“I Don’t know” said the farmer. “I never could catch the
darn thing!”

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’

The stock boy answered, ‘No ma’ am, they’re dead.’

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something I had to know;
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of…..Black November;

“Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.”

“And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head.
Then she’ll pluck out your feathers so you’re bald ‘n pink,
And scoop out your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.”

“And then comes the worst part,” he said not bluffing,
“She’ll spread your cheeks and pack your rear end with stuffing.”
Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat.

I decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked.
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.
I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola.

And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes.
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed.

But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.
And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the whole compound.

So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said, “Christmas is coming….”