Analysis:
1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in the refrig.
2. Redefine the measure on the referigerator (or the elephant).
3. Apply the Banach-Tarsky theorem.

Number theory:
1. First factorize, second multiply.
2. Use induction. You can always squeeze a bit more in.

Algebra:
1. Step 1. Show that the parts of it can be put into the refrig. Step 2. Show that the refrig. is closed under the addition.
2. Take the appropriate universal refrigerator and get a surjection from refrigerator to elephant.

Topology:
1. Have it swallow the refrig. and turn inside out.
2. Make a refrig. with the Klein bottle.
3. The elephant is homeomorphic to a smaller elephant.
4. The elephant is compact, so it can be put into a finite collection of refrigerators. That’s usually good enough.
5. The property of being inside the referigerator is hereditary. So, take the elephant’s mother, cremate it, and show that the ashes fit inside the refrigerator.
6. For those who object to method 3 because it’s cruel to animals. Put the elephant’s BABY in the refrigerator.

Algebraic topology:
Replace the interior of the refrigerator by its universal cover, R^3.

Linear algebra:
1. Put just its basis and span it in the refrig.
2. Show that 1% of the elephant will fit inside the refrigerator. By linearity, x% will fit for any x.

Affine geometry:
There is an affine transformation putting the elephant into the refrigerator.

Set theory:
1. It’s very easy! Refrigerator = { elephant } 2) The elephant and the interior of the refrigerator both have cardinality c.

Geometry:
Declare the following:
Axiom 1. An elephant can be put into a refrigerator.

Complex analysis:
Put the refrig. at the origin and the elephant outside the unit circle. Then get the image under the inversion.

Numerical analysis:
1. Put just its trunk and refer the rest to the error term.
2. Work it out using the Pentium.

Statistics:
1. Bright statistician. Put its tail as a sample and say “Done.”
2. Dull statistician. Repeat the experiment pushing the elephant to the refrig.
3. Our NEW study shows that you CAN’T put the elephant in the refrigerator.

The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had.

He goes up to the girl and says, “Little girl, I think that it’s wonderful that you’re doing such a good thing.”

The little girl says, “Thank you, Mr. Clinton. Would you like a puppy? They’re Democrats.”

Bill declines and jogs onward. The next day Billy jogs past the same girl and decides to talk to her again. “You know what, little girl? I think I’ll take one of those puppies after all, seeing as how they’re Democrats.”

The girl says, “I’m sorry Mr. Clinton, but they’re not Democrats any more. They’re Republican now.”

Bill says, “They are? How do you know? As a matter of fact, how did you know that they were Democrats at first to begin with?”

She says, “Well, just after they were born they were Democrats, but now their eyes are open.”

A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks.

“That’s a lot of chicks,” commented the proprietor. “I mean business,” the city slicker replied.

A week later the yuppie was back again. “I need another 100 chicks,” he said. “Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming,” the man told him.

“Yeah,” the yuppie replied. “If I can iron out a few problems.” “Problems?” asked the proprietor. “Yeah,” replied the yuppie, “I think I planted that last batch too close together.”

A man’s car stalled on a country road one morning. When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. “Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow.

Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. The amazed man told the farmer his story.

“Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?” asked the farmer. “Yes, yes,” the man replied.

“Oh! I wouldn’t listen to Bessie,” said the farmer. “She doesn’t know a thing about cars.”

Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving in the country and accidentally hit and killed a pig that had wandered out on a country road. Limbaugh told the chauffeur to drive up to the farm and apologize to the farmer.

They drove up to the farm, the chauffeur got out and knocked on the front door and was let in. He was in there for what seemed like hours. When the chauffeur came out, Limbaugh was confused about why his driver had been in there so long.

“Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife brought me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses.” explained the driver.

“What did you tell the farmer?” Limbaugh asked.

The chauffeur replied, “I told him I was Rush Limbaugh’s driver and I’d just killed the pig.”