What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinoccio’s nose?

“Tell a lie.”

She offered her honor,
He honored her offer,
And so all night long,
it was on-her and off-er!

The newlyweds were on their honeymoon when the groom asked, “Honey, you can tell me.
Am I the first man?”

She looked up and said, “Why does everybody ask me that?!”

The middle-aged wife had just returned to the house on Saturday afternoon after a shopping trip. She was quite agitated, and proceeded to tell her husband about a certain shoe salesman who had been rude.

It seems she was sitting down while he helped her try on various shoes, and happened to glance up and notice that she was not wearing any knickers under her dress. Without even thinking, he just blurted out, “If that thing was full of ice cream, I’d eat every bite.”

Well, she was understandably insulted, and now wanted to know what her husband was going to do about it.

The husband just sat there, watching football on TV, and grunted. The wife became hysterical, and insisted on knowing why he didn’t go down to the shop and punch the rude salesman right in the nose.

“Well”, the husband replied, “There are three reasons I won’t punch that guy in the nose. First of all, you shouldn’t have even been shopping for shoes, since you have a whole wardrobe full of them. Secondly, you have no business going shopping with no knickers on. But most of all, I’m not going to punch anyone who’s big enough to eat that much ice cream!”

What’s an orgasm, mom?
I don’t know, dear…ask your father.