A blonde says to a brunette, ”Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt.”

The brunette says, ”Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup.”
——————

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side.
The doctor examined her and said, ”You have acute appendicitis.”

The blond yelled at the doctor…
”I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!!”
——————

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.
The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.

So he told her all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.

After 15 minutes of this, the blonde’s blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.

“I’m trying to pop out this dent, but it’s not really working.”

“Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!”

There was once was a blonde woman who had just bought a house.
She called it Harrybutt.
She had a child and named in Crack.
She lost Crack and couldn’t find him.
So she called the police and said, ” I looked all over my Harrybutt and couldn’t find my crack!”

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, – “This is the WORST book I’ve ever read!” “It has NO plot and far too many characters!”

The librarian looks up and calmly remarks -
“So, you’re the one who took our phone book…”

One night a Blond Nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her.

“My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish.”

“Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways.”

“There must be something you would have of me,” said God.
“Well, there is one thing,” she said.
“Just name it,” said God.
“It’s those blond jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop.”

“Consider it done,” said God. “Blond jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans.

But surely there is something that I could do just for you.”

“There is one thing. But it’s really small, and not worth your time,” said the nun.

“Name it. Please,” said God.

“It’s the M&M’s,” said the nun. “They’re so hard to peel!”

A blonde meets up with a friend as she’s picking up her car from the mechanic.

“Everything ok with your car now?”
“Yes, thank goodness,” the blonde replies.

“Weren’t you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?”

“Yeah, but he didn’t. I was SO RELIEVED when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!”