Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver’s License?A: Because she got an F in sex.

Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?

A: An Italian suppository

Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?

A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece

Mary Simpson was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, “They’re driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I’m half-way to the nut hatch.”

“What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself,” her friend said.

So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going.

“Superb! I can’t believe it,” Mary said. “I get in that pen with a good book and the kids don’t bother me one bit!”

By the way – Mary is blonde.