Manliness defines the physical and behavioral attributes of a real man. (Not a woman, a man.) The subject of much scholarly debate, manliness is regularly addressed in such peer-reviewed journals as Playgirl and Men Magazine. The world’s great inebriated leaders and visionaries, such as Winston Churchill, John F. Kennedy, and George W. Bush are manly, not only because they’re men, but because they’re men who will drink a pint of whiskey and can still run a country and/or take a bullet.
Manliness, like religion, is a truth that permeates all cultures, languages, and action movie studios. However, not all cultures are of equal manliness; Canadians for example are considerably less manly, (although more wealthy), than Mexicans. Moreover, a truly manly man is someone who cuts to the chase, calls it like it is, and sips cognac while playing tackle football in a trenchcoat.
Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, ”Hey, Dave! How ya doin?” His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. ”Oh no,” says Dave. ”He’s on my bowling team.”
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ”You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.” ”No, honey, she’s in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.” A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ”Hi, Davey,” she says, ”Want your usual table dance?” Read More…
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A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, “Stop making love down there!”
“What’s the matter with you?” the husband said when the sailor climbed down. ‘”We weren’t making love.”
“Sorry,” said the sailor, “From up there it looked like you were.”
Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top.
The husband says to himself, “By golly he’s right! It DOES look like they’re making love down there!”
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.
He said . . . I don’t now why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said .. . . You wear pants don’t you?
He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight? Read More…
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MEN:
1. Wait until Saturday, drive to the auto parts store. Buy a case of oil, oil filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner (don’t forget a little tree air freshener). Write a check to the auto parts store for approximately $50.
2. Stop by 7/11 on the way home, buy a case of beer. Write a check for $20.00.
3. Drive home with oil and beer.
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