Manliness defines the physical and behavioral attributes of a real man. (Not a woman, a man.) The subject of much scholarly debate, manliness is regularly addressed in such peer-reviewed journals as Playgirl and Men Magazine. The world’s great inebriated leaders and visionaries, such as Winston Churchill, John F. Kennedy, and George W. Bush are manly, not only because they’re men, but because they’re men who will drink a pint of whiskey and can still run a country and/or take a bullet.
Manliness, like religion, is a truth that permeates all cultures, languages, and action movie studios. However, not all cultures are of equal manliness; Canadians for example are considerably less manly, (although more wealthy), than Mexicans. Moreover, a truly manly man is someone who cuts to the chase, calls it like it is, and sips cognac while playing tackle football in a trenchcoat.
One day a woman came up to her husband and told him that the TV was broken and she was missing her shows.
“Does it say cable repairman anywhere on my forehead?” he asked.
“No,” she said.
A few minutes later she came back and told him that the porch was breaking and it was dangerous.
“Does it say carpenter anywhere on my forehead?” he asked. Read More…
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Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, “You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly.” St. Peter looked at Dave and said, “You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge.” Next St. Peter looked at John and said, “You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota stationwagon.” St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, Read More…
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There was a guy who just got out of a really bad divorce with his wife. One day, he found a genie’s lamp.
The genie came out and said, “Hello master. I will grant you three wishes but, what ever you wish for your wife gets double.”
The guy didn’t like that part but he made a wish anyway. For his first wish, he said,
“Genie, I want a house in Hawaii.” POOF!!! He got one house, his wife got two. This didn’t make him happy but, he made his second wish. Read More…
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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.”
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” She replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
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Through a scheduling mix up, a man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. It’s late, the train is full, and everyone else is already asleep. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket.” Read More…
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