The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read:

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery …
even shorten your life.

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What’s that?

Lady 2: A condom.

Lady 1: Where’d you get it?

Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, the first lady hobbled into the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wanted to buy a package of condoms.

The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she was, after all, in her 80s), but politely asked what brand she preferred.

“Doesn’t matter,” she replied, “as long as it fits a Camel.”

A man died in a horrible fire. The mortician thought it was George, but the body was so badly burned that somebody would need to make a positive identification. That task fell to George’s two friends, Joe and Al.

Joe: “He’s burnt pretty bad, all right. Roll him over.” Joe looked at the dead man’s buttocks and said, “Nope, that ain’t George.”

Thinking the incident strange, the mortician straightened up the body and said nothing. He brought in Al.

Al: “Wow, he’s burnt to a crisp. Roll him over.” Again, “Nope, that ain’t George.”

Mortician: “How can you tell?”

Al: “George had two assholes.”

Mortician: “What? How could he have two assholes?”

Al: “Everybody knew George had two assholes. Whenever the three of us would go into town you’d hear people say, “Here comes George with those two assholes!”

Obama wins Presidential Election and what are the first words out of Michelle Obama’s mouth?

For the Second Time in My Adult Lifetime, I am really proud of my country.

Once a gentleman arrived at the town, dressed well, he settled in the unique hotel that was, and put a warning in the unique page of the local newspaper, was arranged to buy each monkey that brings to him by $10. Farmers, that knew that the forest was full of monkeys, left running to hunt monkeys.

The man bought, like had promised in the warning, the hundreds of monkeys that brought to him to $10 each without chistar. But, as already they were very few monkeys in the forest, and it was difficult to hunt them, the farmers lost interest, then the man offered $20 by each monkey, and the farmers ran again to the forest.

Again, they were decreasing the monkeys, and the man lifted the supply to $25, and the farmers returned to the forest, hunting the few monkeys that were, until it was already almost impossible to find one. Arrived at this point, the man offered $50 by each monkey, but, like tapeworm businesses that to take care of in the city, the business of the purchase of monkeys would leave in charge of its assistant.

Once the man to the city traveled, his assistant went to the farmers saying to them: – They pay attention to this full cage of thousands of monkeys that my head bought for his collection, nor remembers it has that them. I offer to them to sell to you the monkeys to them by $35 and when my head returns of the city, are sold it by $50 each. The farmers joined all savings and bought the thousands of monkeys that were in the great cage, and waited for the return of ‘ jefe’ … From that day, they returned to see neither the assistant nor the head. The unique thing that saw was the full cage of monkeys that they bought with his savings of all the life.

Now you have clear a good notion of how she works the Stock market, stock-market and Wall s$street