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SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Stupidity is not for everyone. Do not use stupidity if you don’t want to succeed. Do not use stupidity if you are driving or operating machinery. Do not use stupidity if you are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant. Side effects may include: pregnancy, injury, death, fiscal losses, injury to others, or death to others. Always consult your doctor before beginning any cycle of stupidity. Ask your doctor if stupidity is right for you [hint: it isn't].
Idiots have played a vital role in history, teaching early humans what happens if you place your hand in fire, get on the bad side of a large, angry animal, or look directly down the barrel of your spear. In fact, idiots have often been held responsible for starting the Cold War. Many people scorn the idiot, saying that they have no value to society, and that they should be exterminated. They are probably right, but it was this kind of thinking that led to the Holocaust. Actually, the United States had a plan to exterminate the idiot population, but this plan was scrapped when they realised that in doing this they would be wiping out at least 63% of their populace. Russia had the same idea, but they too had to terminate the plan because Idiots are the currency there.

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Dumb Accident Reports

  1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.
  2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.
  3. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
  4. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
  5. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
  6. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
  7. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. Read More…
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Gym funny failures

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How to pass a drunk driving test

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Lifesavers

A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders, using a bowl of Lifesavers.
The children began to say:

Red…………cherry,”

Yellow………lemon,”
Green……….lime,”
Orange ……..orange,”

Finally the teacher gave them all honey Lifesavers. After eating them none of the children could identify the taste.

“Well,”she said, “I’ll give you all a clue; It’s what your mother may sometimes call your father.”

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her Lifesaver out and yelled:
Oh My God!!!! They’re @$$hole$!

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