As a passenger jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system.

“Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep.”

From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim, “Wow! It just missed the highway!”

Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. “We don’t have half dozen nuggets,” said the teenager at the counter. “You don’t?” I replied. “We only have six, nine, or twelve,” Read More…

Did you hear about the guy on the beach who found a bottle? He rubbed it and, sure enough, out popped a genie.

“I will grant you three wishes,” said the Genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?” he asked.

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every politician in the world will receive double what you asked for.”

“Well, I can live with that! No problem!” replied the elated man.

“What is your first wish?” asked the Genie.

“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari,” he said.

POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.

“Now, every politician in the world has two Ferraris,” said the genie. “Next wish?”

“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.

POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.

“Now, every politician in the world has two million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your final wish?” asked the genie.

The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney.”

A country doctor is suturing a laceration on the hand of an old farmer.

Old man: “All you need to know about politics is that young George Bush is a post turtle.”

Doctor: “Oh? What is a post turtle?”

Old man: “When yer driving down a country road, and ya come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? That’s a post turtle. Ya know he didn’t get there by himself, he don’t belong there, he cain’t get anything done while he’s up there, and you just want to help take the poor thang down.”

You got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!

A doctor would live next door while you bleed to death trying to call 911!

You cant count to 21 because you its too high for your fingers and toes!

You used a knife to bust open the door then discoverd it was unlocked!

You were in a food market and asked where they keep the tools!

You put lipstick on the dog to test because the bottle said Not tested on animals and dicided to try it yourself!

You looked for a K-Jewelers by a K-B-Toys!

You stared at your kids juice box because it said concentrated!

You kept buying Coke bottles because it kept sayin Try Again!

You cant figure out the instructions for a pencil sharpener!

You decided not to buy your little girl a game boy because you thought it was for boys!

You looked in an Encyclopedia for the meaning of Practical joke and couldnt find it!

You then looked in a Dictionary for the meaning of practical jokes and it said turn to Spare time and it said 2Wasted time and to turn to practical joke and, repeated, repeated, repeated…

You couldnt find the zipper for your pants!