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Computers Jokes


A computer is a fun box (note derivation from the original Portuguese “Computador”) filled with unicorns and goblins, happy magical super magic, rainbows, wart toads computer games and brazillions and brazillions (note that Portuguese is spoken in Brazil by the Brazillions) of funographic images and videos that can do simple things like milking a cat, mathematical operations (not real ones though, as these are typically carried out by armies of human slaves, in large facilities called ‘schools’) and compose essays.

It’s other purposes include destruction of mankind, giving Bill Gates reasons to get filthy rich, and whacking your someone in the head(Yes!!!). It has been known to drive people up the wall while using it, which scientists think will lead to gay hockey players and several species of flying cow. It has been likened unto a potent sled dog that sucks the user into habitual addictive behaviors.
If you have fatigued your computer, it will start to moan in a rather bothering fashion. If this does happen you should get off as fast as possible, as not to get that magic juice on you. Magic juice has been known to cause extreme horniness for sharp objects.

Are you sure you’re not a computer? We think you are. Yes, we mean YOU

Human: Hello
Computer: Hi.
Human: What’s your name? Read More…

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Fun With UNIX Commands

Actual UNIX commands and responses…

% make love
Make: Don’t know how to make love. Stop.

% got a light?
No match.

% sleep with me
bad character

% man: Why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% rm God
rm: God nonexistent

% make ‘heads or tails of all this’
Make: Don’t know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.

% make sense
Make: Don’t know how to make sense. Stop.

% make mistake
Make: Don’t know how to make mistake. Stop.

% make bottle.open
Make: Don’t know how to make bottle.open. Stop.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

% make light
Make: Don’t know how to make light. Stop.

% date me
You are not superuser: date not set

% man rear
No manual entry for rear.

% [Where is Chandra Levy?
Missing ]

% “How does Gary Condit rate as a liar?
Unmatched ”

% If I had a ) for every dollar Reagan spent, what would I have?
Too many )’s.

% * How would you describe Bill Clinton
*: Ambiguous.

% %Vice-President
%Vice-President: No such job.

% “How would you rate Reagan’s senility?
Unmatched “.

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MMORPGs

mmorpgs.jpg

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Top Ten Least Popular DOS Error Messages

10. Invalid user, not competent, or brain empty.
9. Random dara error writing all over drive C.
8. Fatal user imput error; file destroyed.
7. Destroy another? (y/n)
6. Qualified user not found
5. System is tired of reading Drive C; drive no longer valid.
4. make my day? (y/n)
3. /f parameter not specified; random dialog from Mary Worth comic strip written to all *.DOC files.
2. Bad language or stupid file name
1. Get someone who knows what he’s doing; press any key when ready

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10 things your IT guy wants you to know

1. If you ask me technical questions please dont argue with me because you dont like my answer. If you think you know more about the topic, why ask? And if Im arguing with you…its because I am positive that I am correct, otherwise Id just say I dont know or give you some tips on where to look it up, I dont have the time to just argue for the sake of it. Read More…

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