Top 50+ Geek T-Shirt slogans

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
2. COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
4. 2 + 2 = 5 for extrememly large values of
2.
5. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
6. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
8. C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
9. C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
10. <—————-The information went data way———–
11. Best file compression around: “DEL . ” = 100% compression
12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding
14. The name is Baud……. James Baud.
15. BUFFERS FILES_ 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
16. Access denied�nah nah na nah nah!
17. c:\> Bad Command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay…
19. Why doesn’t DOS ever say “EXCELLENT command or filename!”
20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
21. Southern DOS: Y’all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
22. Backups? We don’ NEED no steenking backups.
23. E Pluribus Modem
24. >… File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
27. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
28. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington, D.C.? (Y/N)
29. Does fuzzy logic tickle?
30. A computer’s attention span is as long as its power cord.
31. 11th commandemnt – Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s Pentium.
32. 24 hours in a day … 24 beers in a case… coincidence?
33. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
34. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
35. SENILE.COM found … Out of Memory…
36. Who’s General Failure & why’s he reading my disk?
37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
39. Shell to DOS… Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS…
40. All computers wait at the same speed.
41. Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.
42. Press — to continue…
43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…
44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
46. E-mail returned to sender�insufficient voltage.
47. Help! I’m modeming… and I can’t hang up!!!
48. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
50. “640K ought to be enough for anybody.” – Bill Gates, 1981
51. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCRS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
52. Hidden DOS Secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
53. Press any key… no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
54. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…
55. Go ahead, make my data

A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road.
As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk. ‘Kiss me and I will turn into a princess.’
The guy picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket.

The frog starts shouting, ‘Hey! Didn’t you hear me? I’m a Princess. Just kiss me and I will be yours.’
The guy takes the frog out of his pocket and smiles at it and puts it back.

The frog is really frustrated. ‘I don’t get it. Why won’t you kiss me? I will turn into a beautiful princess and do anything you ask.’

The guy says, ‘Look, I’m a computer geek. I don’t have time for girls.
But a talking frog is cool!’

What did Bill Gates’ wife say to him on his wedding night?

“Now I know why you called your company Microsoft”

Q: How many Bill Gates does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One – he puts it in the socket and lets the world revolve around him.

YESTERDAY
—————
Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,
There’s not half the files there used to be,
And there’s a milestone
hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.

Now all my data’s gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.

============================================

Songs to program by…
Eleanor Rigby
———————

Eleanor Rigby
Sits at the keyboard
And waits for a line on the screen
Lives in a dream
Waits for a signal
Finding some code
That will make the machine do some more.
What is it for?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Guru MacKenzie
Typing the lines of a program that no one will run;
Isn’t it fun?
Look at him working,
Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile;
It takes a while…

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Eleanor Rigby
Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work;
Feels like a jerk.
Guru MacKenzie
Wiping the crumbs off the keys as he types in the code;
Nothing will load.

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

===================================

Unix Man (Nowhere Man)
————————————

He’s a real UNIX Man
Sitting in his UNIX LAN
Making all his UNIX plans
For nobody.

Knows the blocksize from du(1)
Cares not where /dev/null goes to
Isn’t he a bit like you
And me?

UNIX Man, please listen(2)
My lpd(8) is missin’
UNIX Man
The wo-o-o-orld is at(1) your command.

He’s as wise as he can be
Uses lex and yacc and C
UNIX Man, can you help me At all?

UNIX Man, don’t worry
Test with time(1), don’t hurry
UNIX Man
The new kernel boots, just like you had planned.

He’s a real UNIX Man
Sitting in his UNIX LAN
Making all his UNIX plans For nobody …
Making all his UNIX plans For nobody.

==================================

Write in C (“Let it Be”)
————————————

When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
“Write in C.”

As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
“Write in C.”

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO’s dead and buried,
Write in C.

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.

If you’ve just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC’s not the answer.
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won’t quite cut it.
Write in C.

=========================

Something
————————

Something in the way it fails,
Defies the algorithm’s logic!
Something in the way it coredumps…
I don’t want to leave it now
I’ll fix this problem somehow

Somewhere in the memory I know,
A pointer’s got to be corrupted.
Stepping in the debugger will show me…
I don’t want to leave it now
I’m too close to leave it now

You’re asking me can this code go?
I don’t know, I don’t know…
What sequence causes it to blow?
I don’t know, I don’t know…

Something in the initializing code?
And all I have to do is think of it!
Something in the listing will show me…
I don’t want to leave it now
I’ll fix this tonight I vow!