The jokes about blondes have been made by the blondes themselves. This is because they want to confuse their enemies. The plan is to make people laugh so bad, that they might die from it. So far, the plan hasn’t been succesful, as we all can see. People laugh much about it. Let’s just face it: the jokes about blond bimbos are not funny enough. The blondes have now started to work on a new plan. Their secret headquarters is stationed right under the South Pole. Actually, they had planned to place it on the North Pole, but they did like Columbus, and went the wrong way. The reason why they wanted to go to the North Pole, was because they wanted to be closer to Santa Claus.
The truth is, blondes can not help being dumb. The reason they are so dumb is because when god made them, he installed a special chip. This chip “controls” what they say. Here is how it works: A blonde is asked, “How many sides are on an octagon?”. Before she can say the right answer, 8, the chip redirects her. This is what she is now thinking: Well, an octopus lives in the ocean. The ocean is blue. There are 4 letters in blue. So her answer would be 4. This is how the chip works.
A Blonde was down on her luck.
In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”
She then wrote a note saying,
“I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde”.
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said,
“How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”
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There was a brunette, a blonde, and a redhead and they were in the
third grade. Who had the biggest tits?
The blonde, because she was
18.
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here was a blonde and a brunette on either sides of a river.
The brunette wanted to get to the side the blonde was on so she
yelled across “how do you get to the other side?” to the blonde.
The blonde answered “DUH! You ARE on the other side!”.
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The blonde reported for her University final examination which
consists of “yes/no” type questions.
She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question
paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her
purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking
the answer sheet – Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an
hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it
out.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the
coin, swearing and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.
“I finished the exam in half and hour. But, she says, I am
rechecking my answers!”
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Q: Why did the blonde take some bread to the Toilet?
A: Because she wanted to feed the Toilet Duck
Q: Why was the blonde staring at the Orange juice?
A: Because it said Concentrate.
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