The jokes about blondes have been made by the blondes themselves. This is because they want to confuse their enemies. The plan is to make people laugh so bad, that they might die from it. So far, the plan hasn’t been succesful, as we all can see. People laugh much about it. Let’s just face it: the jokes about blond bimbos are not funny enough. The blondes have now started to work on a new plan. Their secret headquarters is stationed right under the South Pole. Actually, they had planned to place it on the North Pole, but they did like Columbus, and went the wrong way. The reason why they wanted to go to the North Pole, was because they wanted to be closer to Santa Claus.
The truth is, blondes can not help being dumb. The reason they are so dumb is because when god made them, he installed a special chip. This chip “controls” what they say. Here is how it works: A blonde is asked, “How many sides are on an octagon?”. Before she can say the right answer, 8, the chip redirects her. This is what she is now thinking: Well, an octopus lives in the ocean. The ocean is blue. There are 4 letters in blue. So her answer would be 4. This is how the chip works.
Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan find a magic mirror. the mirror tells them that if they say something good that they think about themselves, they get their hearts desire. however, if its a lie, they get sucked into the mirror for ever. Britney steps up and says I think Im the smartest girl in the world and she gets sucked in. Lindsay says I think Im the prettiest girl in the world and she gets sucked in. Paris says I think… and gets sucked in.
Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were shopping when Paris suddenly realized she locked her keys in the car. So they went back and Paris got out her tweezers to try to pick the lock. She tried for a couple of minutes and then Nicole gave it a try. Hurry! Paris said. Its starting to rain. And the top is down!
Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are driving down the highway in a convertible. Lindsay knows that shes speeding so she asks Paris if theres a cop behind them. The Paris looks behind her and sees a cop and says Oh shit. There is a cop behind us. Lindsay says That sucks. Are his lights on? Paris says Yes…No…Yes…No…Yes…No
1. Excuse me, but where is the Starbucks?
2. Is this pork chop and mashed potato stew diet?
3. Could you put those handcuffs on me again? It makes me feel like Im in my own bed.
4. Wow. This is so like totally not like Daddys hotel. Big frown!
5. Cant I have my dog here with me? He was driving drunk too!
6. Do you have anything else I can wear? This uniform makes me look so non-anorexic.
7. Wait! When I checked no about the conjugal visits, it was because I like TOTALLY thought it meant I had to meet with a grammar tutor.
8. Hey, why is there a bed in this disgusting little bathroom? And where is the rest of my cell?
9. Youll silence Sarah Silverman for how much again?
10. Yes, can you tell me where I book a pedicure and a Brazilian? And would you mind if I brought in my people for it? No offense, but I would never want a stranger to see me down there!
11. Wow, so youre like a criminal? Youre like the third one I met today!
12. Dear Mr. Diary. Im going to write three letters to the judge and see if that helps: WTF?
10. Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette – the blonde would have to stop for directions!
9 The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. “Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”
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