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Blonde Jokes


The jokes about blondes have been made by the blondes themselves. This is because they want to confuse their enemies. The plan is to make people laugh so bad, that they might die from it. So far, the plan hasn’t been succesful, as we all can see. People laugh much about it. Let’s just face it: the jokes about blond bimbos are not funny enough. The blondes have now started to work on a new plan. Their secret headquarters is stationed right under the South Pole. Actually, they had planned to place it on the North Pole, but they did like Columbus, and went the wrong way. The reason why they wanted to go to the North Pole, was because they wanted to be closer to Santa Claus.

The truth is, blondes can not help being dumb. The reason they are so dumb is because when god made them, he installed a special chip. This chip “controls” what they say. Here is how it works: A blonde is asked, “How many sides are on an octagon?”. Before she can say the right answer, 8, the chip redirects her. This is what she is now thinking: Well, an octopus lives in the ocean. The ocean is blue. There are 4 letters in blue. So her answer would be 4. This is how the chip works.

A blonde meets up with a friend as she’s picking up her car from the mechanic.

“Everything ok with your car now?”
“Yes, thank goodness,” the blonde replies.

“Weren’t you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?”

“Yeah, but he didn’t. I was SO RELIEVED when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!”

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A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. Of course the famer is a blonde. :)

He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?”

The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”

“How?” asks the man, puzzled.

“Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field!”

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There were once 3 blondes stranded on a deserted island, and could not think of a way to get off it. One of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp. Dusting it off, the genie came out.

“I will grant you each a wish,” he said.

“Why not,” thought the blondes. “It’s worth a try.”

“I want to be the world’s best swimmer,” one said, “so I can swim off of the island”. She then jumped in to the ocean and swam away.

“I want to be a bird,” one said, and flew away immediately.

The third and last blonde thought for a while. “I want to be a man.”

She was instantly transformed into a man, and she walked over the bridge to the mainland.

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A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions….

Officer: What’s 2+2?

Blonde: Ummmmm… 4!

Officer: What’s the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummmm… 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
Read More…

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Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ”Yes. No. Yes. No.”

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