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Blonde Jokes


The jokes about blondes have been made by the blondes themselves. This is because they want to confuse their enemies. The plan is to make people laugh so bad, that they might die from it. So far, the plan hasn’t been succesful, as we all can see. People laugh much about it. Let’s just face it: the jokes about blond bimbos are not funny enough. The blondes have now started to work on a new plan. Their secret headquarters is stationed right under the South Pole. Actually, they had planned to place it on the North Pole, but they did like Columbus, and went the wrong way. The reason why they wanted to go to the North Pole, was because they wanted to be closer to Santa Claus.

The truth is, blondes can not help being dumb. The reason they are so dumb is because when god made them, he installed a special chip. This chip “controls” what they say. Here is how it works: A blonde is asked, “How many sides are on an octagon?”. Before she can say the right answer, 8, the chip redirects her. This is what she is now thinking: Well, an octopus lives in the ocean. The ocean is blue. There are 4 letters in blue. So her answer would be 4. This is how the chip works.

Butter and Blonde

Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?

A: Butter is difficult to spread.

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Ice Fishing

Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?

A: She was run over by the Zambonis machine

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No. to Make Chocolate Chip Cookies

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

A1:
10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three. . . one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

A3: Two. . . one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.

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Mom Before Date

Q: What did the blonde’s mom say to her before the blonde’s date? A: If you’re not in bed by 12, come home.

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Painting Contractor

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the
first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “GREEN SIDE UP!”.

In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP!”.

The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP!”.

The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?”.

“I’m sorry,” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.”

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