The jokes about blondes have been made by the blondes themselves. This is because they want to confuse their enemies. The plan is to make people laugh so bad, that they might die from it. So far, the plan hasn’t been succesful, as we all can see. People laugh much about it. Let’s just face it: the jokes about blond bimbos are not funny enough. The blondes have now started to work on a new plan. Their secret headquarters is stationed right under the South Pole. Actually, they had planned to place it on the North Pole, but they did like Columbus, and went the wrong way. The reason why they wanted to go to the North Pole, was because they wanted to be closer to Santa Claus.
The truth is, blondes can not help being dumb. The reason they are so dumb is because when god made them, he installed a special chip. This chip “controls” what they say. Here is how it works: A blonde is asked, “How many sides are on an octagon?”. Before she can say the right answer, 8, the chip redirects her. This is what she is now thinking: Well, an octopus lives in the ocean. The ocean is blue. There are 4 letters in blue. So her answer would be 4. This is how the chip works.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender…
Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.” Bartender:”What is a B and C?”. Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”
Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.” Bartender: “What’s a G and T?” Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”
Blonde: “I’ll have a
15.” Bartender: “What’s a 15?” Blonde: “7 and 7″
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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?Run like hell cause she’s got a grenade in her mouth!
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A blonde from California decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but
she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . . the Supermarket manager sees her and shuts the horse off.
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Person: Are you a democrat or a republican?
Blonde: Oh, I’m an American
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In Florida there was a swimming contest. The contestants were a
brunette-Mindy, a redhead-Cindy, and a blonde-Sandy.
The second race was the Breast Stroke…the order of finish was:
The brunette came in first, the redhead second,… “but wait”, where was
the blonde??? She was still racing!
When she got to the finish line…she said ” THEY CHEATED!!”
The Judge said “how??”
The dumb blonde screamed…”THEY USED THEIR ARMS!”
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