The jokes about blondes have been made by the blondes themselves. This is because they want to confuse their enemies. The plan is to make people laugh so bad, that they might die from it. So far, the plan hasn’t been succesful, as we all can see. People laugh much about it. Let’s just face it: the jokes about blond bimbos are not funny enough. The blondes have now started to work on a new plan. Their secret headquarters is stationed right under the South Pole. Actually, they had planned to place it on the North Pole, but they did like Columbus, and went the wrong way. The reason why they wanted to go to the North Pole, was because they wanted to be closer to Santa Claus.
The truth is, blondes can not help being dumb. The reason they are so dumb is because when god made them, he installed a special chip. This chip “controls” what they say. Here is how it works: A blonde is asked, “How many sides are on an octagon?”. Before she can say the right answer, 8, the chip redirects her. This is what she is now thinking: Well, an octopus lives in the ocean. The ocean is blue. There are 4 letters in blue. So her answer would be 4. This is how the chip works.
A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly.
As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct
her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.
He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics,
and sent her on her way.
After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in.
“I’m doing great! I love it!
The view is so beautiful, and I’m starting to get the hang of this.”
After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly.
The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to
worry that she hadn’t radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a
mile away.
He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said,
“I don’t know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was
starting to get cold.
I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!”
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There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine.
Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.
She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.
“Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?” She looked at him and indignantly replied: “Well Duhhh!, I’m still winning”
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There’s this blond and this brunette. And they’re in an elevator. And this hot guy walks into the elevator, and the women are like “Woo-hoo, that guy is fine” and “Mmm…he’s got a nice butt”, and stuff like that.
Then they notice that he has dandruff.
When he gets off of the elevator, the women burst out laughing.
The brunette, giggles and says: “Oh, man, someone should give him head and shoulders.”
And the blond, confused, says: “Really? Well, how do you give someone shoulders?
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What goes “errr, ohhh, errr, ohhh, errr, ohhh? A blonde at a
blinking red light!
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What do you call a blonde that dies her hair Brown? Artificial intelligence!
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