Scientifically speaking, the term Animals includes everything from single-celled organisms all the way down to people. For legal reasons there are some specific exclusions, including Oprah, Hamsters and God.
According to ancient legend, all animals came from space and are Atheists (they believe he is non existent). Thereafter, people kept them in rounded metallic spheres and summoned them forth to use special powers in order to battle with each other. When they wanted the animals to come out of their spheres, they would say “[Aadvark, Llama, etc], I choose you!” and throw the sphere to the ground. Eventually, after fighting alot these animals would evolve, which became the basis for Darwin’s theory of evolution.
There were 4 monkeys in a tree.
Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?
- It died.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
- It was tied on to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
- It got hit by the first two.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
- Peer pressure.
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What did the bird say when his cage fell apart?
Answer: Cheap-Cheap
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What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A megasorass.
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A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single bat
STANDING upright underneath on the floor of the cave.
Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: “What the heck
are you doing down there?”
And the fellow shouts back: “Yoga!”
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A motorist pulls up to the gas pumps and says “fill it up, please”. The Attendant notices that the front and back seats of the car are
occupied by penguins.
“Hey Buddy” says the attendant to the driver, “These birds can’t be happy like this…they’re wild animals, you should take them to a zoo
or something..”
The motorist agrees to do so.
The next day the guy drives into the filling station and once more the attendant sees the penquins installed in the front and back seats, and they are all wearing sunglasses and holding towels…
“What’s this?” he says to the driver, “I thought you agreed to take these birds to the zoo?”
The driver says “I did…and they had such a great time that today I’m taking them to the beach.”
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