Scientifically speaking, the term Animals includes everything from single-celled organisms all the way down to people. For legal reasons there are some specific exclusions, including Oprah, Hamsters and God.
According to ancient legend, all animals came from space and are Atheists (they believe he is non existent). Thereafter, people kept them in rounded metallic spheres and summoned them forth to use special powers in order to battle with each other. When they wanted the animals to come out of their spheres, they would say “[Aadvark, Llama, etc], I choose you!” and throw the sphere to the ground. Eventually, after fighting alot these animals would evolve, which became the basis for Darwin’s theory of evolution.
Why do Walruses go to Tupperware parties?
To find a tight Seal.
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Whales are mammals. Mammals have hair. SHAVE THE WHALES!
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Q: Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 70?
A: Because she has a frog in her throat at 69!
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What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
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Ever walk into a room and forget what you came in for?
Well, that’s probably how dogs spend most of their lives…
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