Scientifically speaking, the term Animals includes everything from single-celled organisms all the way down to people. For legal reasons there are some specific exclusions, including Oprah, Hamsters and God.
According to ancient legend, all animals came from space and are Atheists (they believe he is non existent). Thereafter, people kept them in rounded metallic spheres and summoned them forth to use special powers in order to battle with each other. When they wanted the animals to come out of their spheres, they would say “[Aadvark, Llama, etc], I choose you!” and throw the sphere to the ground. Eventually, after fighting alot these animals would evolve, which became the basis for Darwin’s theory of evolution.
What’s the difference between a duck?
One of it’s legs is both the same.
(joke is used to confuse people)
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What do you call a dog with no legs?
Don’t matter he ain’t gonna come anyway.
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What do you call a pair of skunks that are 69′ing?
OdorEaters!!!
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A young boy, about seven years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
“No laundry” the boy said, “I’m going to wash my dog.”
“But you shouldn’t use this to wash your dog. It’s very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he’ll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him.”
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
“Oh, he died,” the boy said.
The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, “I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog.”
The boy replied, “I don’t think it was the detergent that killed him.”
“Oh, What was it then?” “I think it was the spin cycle!”
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Where does a 200 ton elephant sit?
Anywhere he wants!
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